


Hold on I still need you.

by Pretzel_Gal



Category: Video Blogging RPF, tommyinnit - Fandom
Genre: Family Dynamics, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I dont actually want Tommy to do this its just fiction, IRL Fic, Multiple Endings, Sad Ending, Self-Harm, Song inspiration credited, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Will have 2 endings but wont he posted at the same time, family dude, song fic kind of, theyre brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:53:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pretzel_Gal/pseuds/Pretzel_Gal
Summary: Inspired by the song called "Hold On" By: Chord Overstreets----Tommy cant handle it anymore and decides to end it all. Wilbur calls him after his message.--Will have 2 endings.
Relationships: No shipping - Relationship, SBI Dynamic - Relationship, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 5
Kudos: 95





	Hold on I still need you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Anorexia, Self harm, suicidal thoughts, etc.

Tommy wasn't doing okay. He never was, but he knew how to keep a secret. He knew how to keep his true colors from everyone he knew. The self loathing he always felt only grew worse every second, even when he didn't think about it.

Tommy hated how he was so annoying. He hated how he bothered others. Sure, it may have been his Twitch persona, but he also was sometimes like that but less.. of his persona when he's with his online friends, y'know? If he showed them his true self, he was sure they would hate him. 

His true self was actually just a kid who preferred to not go outside, staying with himself. He was used to having to care for himself as he had started to slowly push his parents away as soon as he became a teenager.

When he began twitch, he didn't expect himself to become a top twitch influencer. The hate comments were nothing at first, because he had heard people tried to take streamers down before they gained popularity. 

But they grew worse overtime. Sure, when they were more frequent his friends such as Dream, Philza and the others told him to ignore them. But eventually they started to dig into his skin as if they were carved into him. 

'He's so annoying wtf'

'I bet they're just using this kid for views lmaooo'

'How do people actually like this guy?'

'Tommyinnit should kill himself already, Hes so fucking annoying and childish'

'How can ppl stand this kid who acts like a 10 year old?? ew'

* * *

Tommy scrolled through the comments left on his videos, even going on Twitter. Tommy knew he was so annoying, but everyone thought he was more annoying than he did himself.

His friends started to notice how Tommy slowly began to Be less harsh with his words, not be as loud and even not talk as much. 

"You're not so loud lately, Tommy," Tubbo asked, placing an item in his minecraft Chest, "why?"

"Ehhhhh, Not feeling a lot of energy lately, Big T," Tommy answered.

* * *

He had been looking at the hate comments for so long, eventually he started to think them himself. He listened to Wilburs songs often, something about them he can relate to. Especially Jubilee line and the other ones.

Tommy sat up on his bed, wearing his blue shirt and black pants, heading to the bathroom in the middle of the night to take a piss. He went to wash his hands, glancing at the razor.

'No.. I couldn't do shit like that,' he thought to himself. He picked it up, twirling it as he looked at the blade.

'I couldn't.. Right?'

Tommy would be lying if he didn't open the medicine cabinet that night to grab some bandages.

* * *

Tommy has been feeling cold more often. 

He had started to refuse meals, only taking a few snacks and drinks. He didn't think he was anorexic, he just- he thought he didn't deserve to be cared for.

Sometimes he found himself awake at 3 am, staring at the wall as he was lost in his thoughts.

'I'm so annoying'

'A waste of time.'

'Nobody actually likes me'

'I need to stop lying to myself'

'They won't care if I died.'

Tommys phone went off, causing Tommy to snap out of it. He picked it up, seeing Technoblade calling him. He cleared his voice, knowing he would need to act.

"Eyo, wassup Big man," Tommy spoke loudly, holding the phone to his ear.

"Why're you awake, Tommy? It should be like 3 am for you and your status says you're online," Techno replied, "Go to bed."

"Yeah yeah I know I know. Was about to actually. Got caught up editing a video and didn't realize how much time had passed," Tommy lied, but Techno wouldn't be able to tell.

* * *

Tommy began to wear hoodies more often, feeling cold and the need to hide his arms. Almost every night, he would grab his razor to use. It's not that he liked the pain, he felt like he deserved it. He deserves to suffer. 

Tommy grabbed a can of coca cola, eating an orange before the stream. He hadn't had a full meal in weeks since this all started to tug at him. Today was supposed to be him, Wilbur and Philza streaming a video together since quackity and Slime couldn't make it.

Tommy told them it was gonna be the human villager mod, where they would all be villagers but with skins and talking options. Tommy made his iconic 'Women love me' jokes, the two others laughing at it. 

The recording had finished, Tommy going to go edit it right away. His discord rang, him pulling it open on his Computer. Apparently Phil was calling, so he answered.

"Sup big man," Tommy greeted, his discord icon picking it up.

"Hey! Just wanted to check up on ya, mate. You've sounded less Tommyish lately," Philza asked, faint noises of typing in the back.

"Ehhh, not a lot of energy. I'm growing ya know?" Tommy chuckled, fiddling with a string of his hoodie.

"Techno told me the other day how you were awake at 3 am, you okay mate?" 

"I told him I was caught up editing! Im fine, Philza Minecraft!"

"Aight, if ya say so. Tell me if somethings wrong, okay Tommy?"

"I know."

* * *

Tommy sat up against the wall, His phone on the ground next to him. He had been weeks into this already, cuts on his thighs and arms. He idled the blade above his wrist, putting it down as he grabbed a handful of ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet, looking at them in his hand.

He got ready to pop the pills into his mouth.

* * *

* * *

* * *

He took the pills, about 8 of them. He sat back down, grabbing the razor and turning it, slitting his wrist down vertically, both of them. His arms started to bleed, leaking even.

He started to feel the effects of the blood loss, smiling softly.

he could finally go.

_**RIIING.** _

His dull eyes glanced at his phone that rang. Damn, it never stops does it.

He put it on speaker, not being able to hold it. 

"Heya, Tommy!" The voice sooke cheerfully. Oh, it was Wilbur.

"H-Hey, did ya need something?" Tommy slurred on his words, feeling lightheaded.

"I was about to start editing a video and wanted to talk to you as I do it- Toms are you alright? You sound kind of off."

"Im.. I'm alright. Hey, Wilbur. You're like a brother to me," Tommy chuckled softly.

"Don't say that I will cry," Wilbur smiled from his side, "But seriously, what's going on?"

"..Thank you for everything, Wilby. I-I.. I won't.."

"Tom- Tommy?" Wilbur stuttered, sounding genuinely concerned.

"..This isn't your f f fault.. im.. tired.." He just wanted to sleep.

"Tommy no- Don't you dare- Hold on please-" Tommy couldn't tell what he was trying to say, the bathroom lights were so bright, did you know that?

"I'm going to sleep now, I love you, Wilbur," Tommy always loved him as a brother, smiling as he let out a weak laugh.

"Tommy No- Please- I love you so much, Toms, please don't go-"

Tommy heard him continue to talk, but couldn't make out anything. His eyes closed, drifting off into the afterlife.

* * *

Wilbur cried, and I mean a lot. Tommy had stopped responding a long time ago. Why did Brighton have to be so far from where Tommy lived?

Wilbur had been driving for 5 hours, having called 911 and Tommy's parents to help Tommy. He was on his way over to make sure Tommy didn't die, to see what happened.

He arrived, his eyes puffy from crying. His parents told Wilbur Tommy didn't make it, dying from the blood loss and overdose.

Wilbur blamed himself. If he had noticed earlier Tommy wasn't doing alright, Tommy would be alive. He didn't- he should have..

Tommy was too Young. Wilbur sobbed in his car, sniffling.

"Come back, I still need you.." Wilbur muttered, "Hold on I still need you.."

* * *

Wilbur was the one to break the news. Phil had to calm him down, Phil being the first person to tell after. Phil cried too. Everyone cried at least a little bit. Tommy had grown on everyone. You couldn't help but feel like a big brother when the kid was around.

Tubbo stopped streaming for a few days to cope. Philza helped Tommy's parents with the funeral. Wilbur went inactive for weeks, unable to get out of bed and could only drink and blame himself.

They met up at the funeral. Wilbur looked like shit. Philza tried to talk to him after the funeral, but nothing got through to him. Philza grabbed His arm, trying to pull him from leaving

"You need to stop blaming yourself, Mate. Tommy wouldn't have wanted this."

"..How would you know? He's gone."

That night, Wilbur drank again, trying to forget. He sat up on his bed, staring at the carpet beside it. He glanced at the window, standing up.

He grabbed some painkillers and sleeping pills, drinking some water with them. He went back to his bed, Posting a status on Twitter.

**@Wilbur Soot**

Thank you everyone. Plan to do a meet up with Tommyinnit in a few minutes :) Will tell him you guys said hi.

Wilbur pulled up the sheets, going back to bed. He didn't answer his phone that rang. It was Phil…

Goodnight.


End file.
